When the whole person meets the whole system

Recently managed a Neighborhood Leadership Academy. The academy is designed to build on the existing leadership talents previously demonstrated by the 12 to 15 participants of whom the group is comprised.

I like these people. They are citizens who cannot help themselves, they want a better city, and a better place to live and they are doing whatever they can to fulfill that desire. My work with them is to support their develop so they become more effective and have a greater impact.

The approach to this is three fold. We bring in City employees who provide services to introduce them to real people who are decision makers that have access to resources. Second we introduce them to leadership models (which we behave) that support their development. Finally is to bring it all together into one or two projects designed and completed by participants. This is the action learning model-applying thinking to get results and to learn from what happens. This becomes the practice field where they “try out” what they have learned.

Over the six three hour academy sessions it was illuminating to watch this group of informal leaders connect with each other. They say the process has made them more clear about why they do what they do and that this makes them better leaders.

This increased clarity came as a result of their wrestling with the classic tension between what “I” need and what “We” need. These folks are already leaders they are already making sacrifices giving of their time and resources to build a better neighborhood, to improve the quality of life in their corner of the world. They already have strong points of view about how things work and the way things should be. They believe they know what is good and best and right for others where they live. Surrendering these strongly held ideas so that they can better get along with others is not easy for them.

This issue surface early on when the group was first forming and they would “gang up” on City employees. They literally were frothing with ideas about “what should be done” by “the City” for their neighborhoods. Of course the last thing our guests wanted to hear after a long day of work was one more group of people telling them what to do and “what is good and best and right for others”.

When we are in a group of leaders agreeing about what is good and best and right is not always easy. We struggle, we negotiate, we persuade, we influence and in some cases get downright upset when others disagree with us.

Darwin long ago noted that tribes that managed to evolve did so only when individuals surrendered some portion of their own self interest for the greater good of the whole. It is in our nature to fight for what “we” need against what “we all” need. Yet each of us also has to identify goals that are common to each of us so we can focus on what we all need so that we survive together

It took awhile to get the neighborhood leaders to this thinking, to a place where they could talk about how much they disliked others telling them what to do and that most of them didn’t do what others told them anyway. We were finally able to break this open by changing the conversation from that of service provider and consumer to one of joint responsibility and leadership.

The physical metaphor was moving from standing face to face telling each other what is was wrong, what should be done about it, or why nothing can be done - to a conversation of standing side by side, shoulder to shoulder looking outward, figuring out together what needed to be done for the good of the whole community.

Personally I have to ask, myself every day if I am making that shift, if I am making decisions that are in the best interest of the “whole” group or if am I being self interested or selfish. In the work group I have to ask if we are “working together” so that we all benefit, or if we are working in ways that support only individual benefit

That is not to say that each of us does not have the right or need to make decisions that are in our own best interest. I need to survive also and sometimes what I need will cost the larger group. It’s all in the balance and in conscience decision making that weighs the pros and cons.

Being able to step away from the situation and reflecting from a distance is how I answer these questions and struggle for this balance. It’s tough it takes some fortitude, you have to be a person who is somewhat secure and confident in self to do this. You have to be strong enough to know that if you step away from the family, the work group, or the team that you will be fine, that your identity will not crumble, and that you can return.

Stepping away to reflect on the situation gives us the room we need to make the best decision for ourselves and for the larger group. As hard as this concept can be it is something that we have done sense humans started coming together. It is part of our DNA somehow over the span of our history we have figured out how to get what “we” need and what “we all” need.

I love my neighborhood people this is what they are trying to do. In the end they are more conscious and aware of this struggle than any of us had planned. We are all better people and better leaders for it.