The River of Time

There are sublime moments, little pieces of time that we inhabit in such a way that we are reminded that our existence is part of a flowing river that never ends. When I touch the river in one place I experience it in that place. Wetness movement, motion the current, sun light on the ripples the here and now of the river in this moment in this place. Yet if I let myself rise to a higher understanding I realize I am also touching the whole river everything connected together in one long stream that has existed for a very long time..

Certain moments connect us to the river of time in a way so powerful that we catch a fleeting glimpse of a distant future or an ancient lineage. Suddenly we “know” that we are part of something much bigger than ourselves and we know that as much as things have changed in other ways they haven’t changed much.

Most recently this happened to me in a jewelry class. Specifically, it was a wire working jewelry class at a local community college that took place over a Saturday and Sunday. The moment began as we started by learning tools. We examined chain nose pliers, half round pliers, jewelers’ saws, files, and small hammers. We hefted the weight of a four by four inch square block of steel used to beat on. It continued as we examined materials looking at square wire, round wire, half hard wire, silver brass and copper wire and the gauge that taught us how to measure the size.

The instructor told us that the type of jewelry we were about to make was sometimes known as ‘gypsy” jewelry. She said she preferred the name ‘nomadic” jewelry. She went on to explain that way back in time small hand tools not so dissimilar were rolled up in leather and carried by ancient artisans from place to place where they would find small bits and pieces of metal or precious stone. They worked the pieces of metal with hammers, sticks and stones transforming it into metal jewelry that was wrapped around the stone. In turn the jewelry was traded for food clothing and other metal to continue the craft.

Of course she said, “we can teach you how to do all of this with power tools, with drills, and dremel tools, and saws and cutters, but that is not what we are here to do today.” “We are here today,” she said, “ to do what they did in the tents at night and in the bazaars in the day time.

Patiently under her careful watch, we bent twisted and beat on spirals and circles of wire making jump rings, bangles, and baubles and yes beads. Making figure eights, “S” hooks and catches to put it all together. No electricity no special tools everything worked by hand. Everything including tools and materials fit neatly into a shoebox size Tupperware container. I could have taken it anywhere.

In the end I created jewelry. It was brass wire with a natural beaten look, primitive and attractive. Everyone who has seen it seems drawn to the natural shapes and forms. It is hard for me to believe I made, yet it has a resonance a true hand made look that is ancient and old.

The primitive style suits me, gaps and dents and scratches are all part of it. Some finishing work enhances it, but I am comfortable with the tools and the techniques.

More than anything though I was set free. Loose drifting in time, creative and engaged in the moment I came to understand that this craft, this skill has existed through the history of mankind. Jewelry and decorative pieces have been found at every ancient site burial and battlefield. Jewelry is in fact a piece of who we are. Creating on this day felt good and right and quite fulfilling. It was magical to touch the river in such a small way.

The Path is Service

What are you after? Enlightenment? Salvation? Redemption? Renewal? The path is through service to others. The following is just a small sampling of quotes on this topic.

Through the practice of love and service to all life, it is possible to alleviate suffering, while awakening to a higher awareness of why we are here - Ram Dass

Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.- Albert Einstein

I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve- Albert Schiwetzer

Giving frees us from the familiar territory of our own needs by opening our mind to the unexplained worlds occupied by the needs of others.- Barbara Bush

Kindness in words creates confidence.Kindness in thinking creates profundity.Kindness in giving creates love. – Lao-Tzu

Everybody can be great... because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love. – Martin Luther King

The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others. – Ghandi

I've come to believe that each of us has a personal calling that's as unique as a fingerprint - and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard, and also allowing the energy of the universe to lead you – Oprah

I can only add that my own personal journey and the successes I have realized along the way are a direct result of giving, not taking but giving.

I was raised in a family of people who little but gave lots. We were always volunteering, always active in our community. It was part of our tradition. We were westerners taking care of each other was how we survived on the frontier.

When I was young I didn’t know it but there was a larger truth about the giving. When you were lost you could find yourself by stopping what you were doing that made you feel lost and do the work that was in front of you. Sometimes that meant cleaning the old neighbor ladies yard, or helping with the school carnival, or maybe joining in as a boy scout to do good deeds. Something better always came from service, from doing from sharing from giving as selflessly as possible.

In my role as consultant, and leader I find that I am attracted to those who serve others. I work with non-profit boards and government agencies. My focus is work groups that serve a specified need.

I was once told by and entrepreneur that getting a lot of money was how you knew you were winning. I didn’t believe him and still don’t. I really don’t believe in life as winning and losing, I can’t fathom keeping score, I can only understand giving my best in service of others and live in joy and gratitude with come back to me in return. Sometimes its money, or enlightenment, even redemption and salvation have been my rewards. Mostly though its the fulfillment of my unshakeable faith that one person makes a difference and that we all have some responsibility in make the world a better place.

When the whole person meets the whole system

Recently managed a Neighborhood Leadership Academy. The academy is designed to build on the existing leadership talents previously demonstrated by the 12 to 15 participants of whom the group is comprised.

I like these people. They are citizens who cannot help themselves, they want a better city, and a better place to live and they are doing whatever they can to fulfill that desire. My work with them is to support their develop so they become more effective and have a greater impact.

The approach to this is three fold. We bring in City employees who provide services to introduce them to real people who are decision makers that have access to resources. Second we introduce them to leadership models (which we behave) that support their development. Finally is to bring it all together into one or two projects designed and completed by participants. This is the action learning model-applying thinking to get results and to learn from what happens. This becomes the practice field where they “try out” what they have learned.

Over the six three hour academy sessions it was illuminating to watch this group of informal leaders connect with each other. They say the process has made them more clear about why they do what they do and that this makes them better leaders.

This increased clarity came as a result of their wrestling with the classic tension between what “I” need and what “We” need. These folks are already leaders they are already making sacrifices giving of their time and resources to build a better neighborhood, to improve the quality of life in their corner of the world. They already have strong points of view about how things work and the way things should be. They believe they know what is good and best and right for others where they live. Surrendering these strongly held ideas so that they can better get along with others is not easy for them.

This issue surface early on when the group was first forming and they would “gang up” on City employees. They literally were frothing with ideas about “what should be done” by “the City” for their neighborhoods. Of course the last thing our guests wanted to hear after a long day of work was one more group of people telling them what to do and “what is good and best and right for others”.

When we are in a group of leaders agreeing about what is good and best and right is not always easy. We struggle, we negotiate, we persuade, we influence and in some cases get downright upset when others disagree with us.

Darwin long ago noted that tribes that managed to evolve did so only when individuals surrendered some portion of their own self interest for the greater good of the whole. It is in our nature to fight for what “we” need against what “we all” need. Yet each of us also has to identify goals that are common to each of us so we can focus on what we all need so that we survive together

It took awhile to get the neighborhood leaders to this thinking, to a place where they could talk about how much they disliked others telling them what to do and that most of them didn’t do what others told them anyway. We were finally able to break this open by changing the conversation from that of service provider and consumer to one of joint responsibility and leadership.

The physical metaphor was moving from standing face to face telling each other what is was wrong, what should be done about it, or why nothing can be done - to a conversation of standing side by side, shoulder to shoulder looking outward, figuring out together what needed to be done for the good of the whole community.

Personally I have to ask, myself every day if I am making that shift, if I am making decisions that are in the best interest of the “whole” group or if am I being self interested or selfish. In the work group I have to ask if we are “working together” so that we all benefit, or if we are working in ways that support only individual benefit

That is not to say that each of us does not have the right or need to make decisions that are in our own best interest. I need to survive also and sometimes what I need will cost the larger group. It’s all in the balance and in conscience decision making that weighs the pros and cons.

Being able to step away from the situation and reflecting from a distance is how I answer these questions and struggle for this balance. It’s tough it takes some fortitude, you have to be a person who is somewhat secure and confident in self to do this. You have to be strong enough to know that if you step away from the family, the work group, or the team that you will be fine, that your identity will not crumble, and that you can return.

Stepping away to reflect on the situation gives us the room we need to make the best decision for ourselves and for the larger group. As hard as this concept can be it is something that we have done sense humans started coming together. It is part of our DNA somehow over the span of our history we have figured out how to get what “we” need and what “we all” need.

I love my neighborhood people this is what they are trying to do. In the end they are more conscious and aware of this struggle than any of us had planned. We are all better people and better leaders for it.

One is too many

Little piece of the war came home yesterday. I was doing my day job of managing a medium size general aviation airport with a nice fleet mix of everything from small helicopters and recreational aircraft to corporate jets. I like managing in this environment as no two days are the same, and you never know who or what might show up.

Yesterday I got a call from the Army. They were flying in the remains of a local boy killed in Iraq. A military cortege met the aircraft with all due pomp and ceremony to transfer the coffin from a small jet to a hearse. Outside the fence a contingent of American Legion motorcycle riders stood ready to escort the hearse down the valley to the fallen soldiers hometown and final resting place.

It was a very sad moment. Our responsibility was to provide minimal crowd control and to corral the media. We created a barrier that let the family and press view the transfer while keeping them a safe distance from the aircraft operating area.

Several members of a Hispanic extended family were present. A lot of pain was visible. A grandmother and mother collapsed to the ground wailing in agony and were lifted and carried away by sons and fathers, husbands and cousins. The father of the soldier hurled curses in Spanish at the soldiers escorting the coffin, claiming to any who would listen that the military was covering up the truth of his son’s death.

I have traveled to many battlefields, after the fact, as a tourist and student of history. Universally I have found them clouded with sadness and haunted with the loss of life and innocence.

In those places I felt as I did yesterday that the loss of even a single life to war is one loss to many. Keeping our war like nature at arms length makes it simply to easy to justify or turn away from, until it comes to visit until it comes home.

Surrender

I fear I could write a lot about this and still not be clear. Clarity counts so perhaps I will start by saying what surrender is not. Surrender as I am using it here is not about giving up. In some ways it is the opposite of giving up.

Surrender as I use it here is directly related to Personal Mastery and recognizes that few things are actually in our control. We can be strategic, we can be mindful, and we can be aware but control is largely illusion.

I am very fond of a John Hiatt song “Through These Hands”. (I prefer the version covered by Don Henley on the “Michael” soundtrack). One part of the chorus goes:

Do not ask what you are not doing
For with your voice you cannot command
But in time you will move mountains
and it will come through your hands

To me these words embody surrender to the work that is in front of you. Work is always required and it is always there, personal work, group work, not job, but work. You cannot make the world the way you want it by commanding, but if you do the work that is yours to do creating the life you desire isl possible.

These lines also suggest what 12 Step people know, sanity requires surrender to something greater than yourself. People approach this in many different ways, some to turn their lives over to religion, many others to love but a notion of something larger seems required. Me, I surrender to the vast unknowable energies of the universe.

Surrendering to something larger eliminates my need to take on the unmanageable responsibility of controlling all outcomes. Like many of us I have a strong need to feel that I am in control, and that being in control is what matters most. I have learned from doing the work required to keep my sanity that control is the path to madness. We cannot command and we cannot control. These are tough lessons that can destroy us if we do not learn them well.

In this sometimes counterintuitive universe in which we live it is the “letting go” rather than the “holding on” that gets us what we need and gets us where we want to go.

Surrender is hard, and I have to keep remembering to do it. So for me surrender is not about giving up, but it is about letting go and it is about remembering the value in it.

Notice Tension

Most of us sit with other people in an acute state of unawareness. Whether it is individuals, small groups or large gatherings people who come to gather are constantly giving off signals about how they feel. They give off a steady flow of information on how they feel about you, about the place they are in or their reasons for being present.

Most of us get caught up in our own feelings about being present with others and fail to pay attention to what is happening around us. What is most interesting about this is that our own feelings are frequently a direct result of experiencing the feelings of those around us.

Feelings and emotions are a form of energy and expression that are capable of being transmitted between individuals or through groups. We really are senders and receivers of vast amounts of information.

Once sitting in a group of people I noticed myself becoming extremely agitated and uncomfortable. No words were being spoken; no images were being shown members of the group simply sat in their chairs. As I looked around the group I noticed that other people were beginning to fidget and I felt a tension between members beginning to rise, as I noticed this tension rising in others I felt it leaving me. Soon this group exploded into emotional statements that were suspicious and accusing. Generally the most agitated members of the group spoke of others using the extended period of silence to manipulate them.

I was riveted, immediately I sensed that the vacuum created by the silence was quickly being filled by what the others were holding inside themselves. The silence became a blank screen on which others projected their fear and anger.

I thought about this experience for a long time and spoke to a group facilitator that I knew who seemed to understand group dynamics fairly well. I asked her what had happened in this situation. She wasn’t particularly interested in what the group had done, she said simply that silence is a powerful intervention that people often mistake for “dead air”. She said that people tend to believe that nothing is happening in periods of silence and that they couldn’t be more wrong. Everything she said happens in silence, every thought every action every idea comes from the silence within us all. In protracted periods of silence people wrestle their own demons and face parts of themselves that are often unpleasant. This she said happens all the time.

What she noted as unusual was my noticing the tension that had taken place. She pointed out that all the intellect contained within my brain actually sits on top of a 180-pound antenna array known as my body. My problem she said was the disconnection that I had developed between my mind and my body that prevented me, and most others from receiving and accurately interpreting the information that my body was sending me. My body got this information from the surroundings that it inhabited and transmitted it to my brain. Something happened she said that opened the pathways between my head and my heart allowing important information to be understood.

She was quick to point out that by noticing the tension I was able to rise above the emotions that were snaring and snagging other people. This she said was essential to my understanding group dynamics and how people could or could not choose to pull together.

Transcending our own feelings when we are in groups can occur when we notice the tension and emotional state of other people. Transcending our own feelings may be precisely what is required if we are to make a difference in how we are in relationships to others.

So the next time you are in a meeting or group, check it out, see what you are feeling, and notice what others are doing. Its illuminating.

Creativity

I have always learned best from experience. As a kid I touched hot stoves and poked screwdrivers into light sockets because I was told not to. No one told me why these were bad ideas and even if they had I still wanted to learn by doing. My schoolteachers often admired my curiosity but were not always pleased with this approach to learning.

I remain curious and hold a special place in my head and heart for really big ideas about how things work. At some point for me this has included science, religion, mythology and philosophy. My way is to grapple with theory poking, prodding, kicking or shaking and idea hard enough some that something comes loose that I can put to work (see my earlier post on action learning). Nothing makes me happier than to take a beautiful idea, apply it, and see what happens.

The beautiful idea here is creation and creativity. A book written by Matthew Fox, radical theologian called “Creativity” has deeply influenced my thinking on this weighty issue. I waded through the whole book and have interpreted what he is saying as follows; if the universe is constantly expanding and creating itself, and if time and space are constantly creating themselves, and matter is constantly creating shape and form, the only rational response from a human being is to be as creative as possible.

Creativity is for me, what I think it is for Matthew Fox, the on going story of creation formed from an elegant synthesis of science and spirituality. I already know enough science to believe that everything is, was and always will be in some state of creation and that it is entirely possible in the quantum world that everything that ever was still exists.

I don’t pretend to know why this happens (or where things come from or where they go) but I have worked quite hard to put this thinking to work staying focused on being creative. Sticking my finger into this cosmic wall socket has produced a sincerely important outcome for me. When I make the conscious effort to put my best creative foot forward I am a happier more productive human being. This means a lot to me.

Creativity is a challenge, as it requires the means for translating or transforming the “creative moment” or the “moment of inspiration” into something tangible. Preparing myself to be creative takes both effort and discipline. Some mastery of technique and tools is essential to make the creative leap to that place where technique meets inspiration and something new is born.

Tom Robbins, in his first novel “Another Roadside Attraction” says something to the effect that any discipline that we practice hard enough becomes art, and when we push that discipline beyond art it becomes magic.

My experience is that creative moments of clarity and beauty are spontaneously available to us if we are ready. These moments are transformational and make us better happier people. I believe this occurs when we link our unfolding creativity in the moment with that of the universe which is also unfolding. And if we are prepared with tools, techniques and discipline in that moment dancing together with the universe we create magic.

How’s that for a big idea?